Motivated to Forgive

I've had the opportunity to think a lot about forgiveness in the last couple of days. A very close friend betrayed me in a big way. I stumbled upon this betrayal and went with an open heart to talk with her, hoping there was an explanation. I didn't want to lose my relationship with this person. My friend responded by admitting the betrayal and saying she guessed this was the end of our friendship. She assumed I couldn't forgive, and she was ready to walk away in defeat.
 

The thing is, I wasn't ready to give up. This person meant too much to me. And suddenly I realized how easy it is to forgive when you really want to, when you're motivated. This thought pathway led me to another realization -  this must be the way God looks at forgiving me. There have been many times in my life where I've glanced heavenward, thrown my hands in the air, and said, "Well, I've done it now God. You might as well give up on me." And now I see the other side of that conversation. I see God saying, "But I love you. What makes you think I'm ready to give up?"

One thing I'm learning in recovery is who my God is. I'm grateful that I got to see a glimpse of a God who loves me so much and LONGS to be reconciled. He is highly motivated to forgive me.
 

There's another aspect of this situation that reminds me how grateful I am to be in recovery. This friend of mine, she's a great person. She's in recovery too and I've learned a lot from her. But she's also human. Just like me. Being in recovery has made me realize that I'm no better and no worse than anyone else. When you've had all the skeletons in your closet laid bare for all the world to see, it's hard to judge someone else's mistakes. It's hard to sit around and play the victim. "Poor me, I got hurt by someone" just doesn't cut it when you're forced to take a hard look at how you've hurt the people you love. This is one of the many reasons I'm GRATEFUL to be a recovering alcoholic. Despite all I've lost, the perspective I've gained is invaluable, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
 

Now, if I can just remember that during my next painful trial or tribulation :).